I turn in the middle of the lawn, tentatively. So unsure of what I'll think. I'm questioning everything that I've just done. Manual labor is not my thing. Decorating...also, not my thing.
I've spent the last four days working on our aging deck with back breaking labor. Okay, maybe not back breaking, but exhausting. There's a reason I don't do manual labor for a living - I can't handle it! The first day was filled with power washing (which, who knew would rid me of anxiety for a day?!). The second day was sanding. My knees are scabbed over and aching. My lower back filled with radiant pain. The third day was staining. I regret the lattice work. It's not pretty. My stain job that is., not the actual lattice If you see it, try not to point out the spots that I missed. I know where they are, and truth be told, I'm too lazy to fix it.
But today, day four, is the day that we picked out our flowers at the local garden shop, wearing our masks and using more hand sanitizer than probably necessary. I spent the morning planting, and hoping that they don't freeze this week.
Back to where I was. As I turned from the middle of the lawn, a slow smile spread across my face. I could feel the smile lines (okay, let's be real here, the crow's feet) grow. Everything looked wonderful and so inviting. It was everything I had hoped for to keep me sane during these next few months of uncertainty.
Just like that, the memories flooded me as I savored the look of the dark red geraniums in the planter boxes along the deck. My grandma's voice, the warmth of her hug, the smell of fresh dirt mixed with geraniums as we planted her planter boxes. Everything she taught me about gardening moving quickly through my mind as I glance towards our garden spot knowing what I need to do next.